Struggling with Paul On the Pity of Hope

I believe the holy Scriptures to be inerrant. That's my bent, and I am in no way ashamed of it. My study of textual, literary, form criticisms, etc., etc., in seminary have not deterred that assurance, but only strengthened it.

Nevertheless, one passage has boggled me over the past couple of years and I feel stuck. Before I had seen this passage I truly believed in my heart that if atheism/evolution were correct, then nothing that anyone believes is right or wrong in light of human existence; that is, nothing matters in any way, shape, or form. So for existence's sake, if atheism is true, then Communism's belief that the massacre of millions of its own people is neither right nor wrong, but simply redefines those labels depending on the time in which it occurs (where the winds are blowing at that time in history).


So, with that line of thought, I would then, I believe, have to conclude that my trust in Christ as my hope is neither good nor bad if what the Bible says about Him turns out not to be true. In other words, if I believe that all of what Christ says about Himself turns out to actually be false, then it shouldn't matter in the end as I will one day die and never exist again anyway. But Paul argues with me and says, "Wrong!", and I have to believe that he is right, since he was an inspired Apostle. He said,

If we have put our hope in Christ for this life only, we should be pitied more than anyone. (1 Cor 15:19 HCSB).

So then, no matter how logical my philosophical thinking might be that I have either inherited or concocted (probably the latter!), the fact is that Paul wins; and if I am wrong to trust wholly in Christ as my salvation, my resurrection, my propitiation, my manna, my eternal life, then I truly am to be pitied for not simply living it up. I am to be pitied for not seeking all my own self-centered pleasures in this life no matter who disagrees. The truth, however, is that nothing in this life has satisfied.

Of course, as a friend of mine pointed out, Paul was a Pharisee, and even his theology changed and was conformed to this new truth of 1 Cor 15:19. He was zealous for the traditions of his fathers (Gal 1:14), and believed that his might made right, persecuting Christ's body who were claiming spiritual heirship of Judaism, but "when he who had set me apart before I was born...was pleased to reveal his Son to me," Paul's eyes were opened and he could not live under even his own conservative ideology or convictions.

My thoughts and heart are not in total compliance with Paul here. This may be one of those hard things that I will simply have to accept. Maybe the Lord will give me more light as I study the broader context of the passage. Maybe my premise is wrong.

Prevail over my heart, Lord Jesus.